Love Addict – Not a Love Story
What have we not done in the name of love? Throughout history we have fought, conquered, killed and been killed in the name of love. We’ve written songs, poems and books in an attempt to capture this ultimate feeling. One can get intoxicatingly “high” from love, when it really takes hold – but fear of abandonment can be an accompanying toxic spice, ruining the sense of happiness: Do you love me, as much as I love you? This question is constantly present and can be as exhausting as the battle of life and death.
Can love take over your life? Can you become obsessed with “love”? How does it feel when every decision, every thought and every single second only depends on another person’s actions? And what if these actions become the foundation for your entire existence? How does it feel to be addicted to love?
This new documentary by Pernille Rose Grønkjær describes how romantic love can evolve into an all consuming obsession. Through the stories of 6 love addicts we see what it means to be addicted on love – what this strange disorder entails and where it comes from.
Most of us know of love’s intoxication: You can act crazy, behave irrationally and feel that you are totally obsessed with another person for a short period of time. In this way many of us have been addicted to love for shorter periods or in moments. What determines whether you are a love addict or not is whether the obsession continues and escalates. As an addict the feeling of love becomes an absolute necessity for survival – like alcohol is for alcoholics and drugs for drug addicts. You will do anything for a fix and in chasing it you build up a fantasy around the person you are addicted to. You live only through his or her actions. Your life becomes secondary and you try to escape who you really are. A kind of escapism. Most love addicts don’t like themselves and therefore it is much more appealing to live their life through others.
A love addict lives in a vicious circle – a bad pattern they repeat from one relationship to another. If you do not get “fixed” in your relationship or if the relationship breaks up you immediately must find a new one to feel the rush again. You are not actually interested in meeting another person, your only focus is the rush. In that way a love addict is never able to obtain a real relation. The relationship stays a fantasy and an illusion of how it could be and not of how it really is.
Ultimately, addiction leads one into a very destructive pattern and depression, despair and anxiety often follow with. Addiction varies in strength, but in the worst cases, it may end up with suicide or murder. Ultimately you are having a very destructive pattern in your love life.